First Death

My momma always said, 'Life isn't easy son'

And it got me thinking some

I know it isn't, but neither is losing one

That's what we're not told

How death is a part of life as we grow old

Not one passing is easier than the next

Even if you know they're all finally at rest

We miss 'em walking the soil that we do

But living life to its fullest to honor them we need to

I can remember the first funeral I attended

It changed my mind, it was my uncle Danny's, a positive was hard to find

He wasn't sick or anything of that sort

He was slain, and the man is still out there instead of in court

I was a teen fighting to figure out how death worked

While my mind was racing trying to be strong and hide the hurt

Everything was as smooth as a funeral day can be 

Riding in the car to the mortuary thinking to myself 'this is crazy'

Wearing all black, my parents trying to brace my brother and I for what we would see

Mind drawing blanks, my family mourning was hard to see

It didn't make sense to me

Walking up to the casket to say my final goodbye was tough to do 

Holding his hand saying to him 'I will never forget you'

You think you fully appreciate someone while they're breathing

Little do you know the void their death on your heart it's leaving

Hoping there's something you can do to bring them back

All you have left are memories, we often dream them back

It's never enough, I still miss him

I look up and say why couldn't that knife miss him

That's part of the meaning of life, when its your time there's no way around it

Don't make the same mistake I did, it took this tragedy for me to find it."